It's all about balance ... and an ongoing bucket list!
In August, 2011, I wrote the following piece. Some of you reading this will remember that I was in the throws of completing grad school, and moving toward an internship, which I knew would interrupt my already dwindling income. Some of you were also in my cohort, and suffering along with me. Others were baffled by some of my decisions, including going back to school on weekends ... But, I remained steadfastly attached to the notion that my life had gone out of balance and that I needed to make a whole whack of corrections to bring it back into balance.
Having a bucket list helped. I share the partial bucket list and year-old reflection, today in the hopes of reminding some folks out there that we are all "works in progress" ... and no different from our "neighbours". Flawed. Imperfect. Striving. Stressed. Magnificent.
So, whether you want to make a small change, or if we are going to take stock to launch some sweeping corrections as I did, don't be afraid to make lists, set goals, revise, change, re-set and keep at it! In the meantime, why not make it fun for ourselves and frame the process as a a "bucket list"?
So, it turns out that in fact, I did NOT attend my graduation ceremony. Instead, much like I did for my 50th birthday, I realized after some reflection over the space of a few weeks, that I wanted to celebrate in a different, more meaningful way. So I took myself back to the island where I knew I would be fine, either alone, or in company. And guess what happened? Lots and lots of friends helped me celebrate. Many celebratory toasts later, I came home, happier for having not sweated the decision whether to attend convocation or not. I knew that the weekend set aside for that ceremony just wasn't going to work for me, while a winter interlude certainly did seem to be in the cards.
At the end of the day, whether I went to the ceremony or not, was irrelevent. The diploma was conferred and it was actually delivered to my door days after the ceremony. Nobody can take that away from me. I graduated whether or not I attended a ceremony out of town to collect that piece of paper. Ah, but how sweet it was when it arrived at the door!
Without the list, which I visit and revise from time to time, I would not have realized that it was much more important for me to celebrate with a winter break near the sea, rather than wait till June to celebrate in a city where I have never been, and that holds no meaning for me, because my classes were held right here in a neighbourhood near my home.
What the list does for me is not so much to keep me on track, as to serve as a reminder that I don't have to keep a million ideas and goals swirling through my busy brain every waking (and even at times, sleeping) moment of the day. The bucket list serves more as a repository for ideas as to how I might like my near and distant future to play out. And as a place to re-visist those ideas regularly, because each day brings changes and challenges that alter my direction, and at times my goals. The list serves not only as a reminder about where I intend to go and what is important to me along the way, but also as a reminder that it is OK to change my mind ... add and subtract from the list ... and transform it into something else altogether. Making a bucket list can be as transformative as years of psychotherapy ... and a lot cheaper!
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